make sure you can break through the walls that youre building around you

im realizing.. something that starts so little always turns into something much bigger..

it doesnt matter.

it just happens because you started that one little thing.

i could say that about a lot of things.

today songs have been making me stop.

quite a few can do that. just stop whatever ive been doing and make me think, think back, think whatever. im not sure if its good or bad, happy or sad, maybe just down.

i think thats it.

i think im down, because i dont know how i am.

theres a lot of things i dont know now that i used to know or i thought i did or maybe i never even thought about but its just that security thing that i talked about earlier by having everything stable but now everythings turned upside down or maybe its just that ive moved out of home and not under the wing of my mother anymore that i feel free or lost or drifting or whatever you like to call it.

what the fuck do i do? where do the days lead? where do i go? how am i supposed to feel? who is real and who is just bullshit? why does everything happen how it does and how do i react when i feel like im over my head.

i dont have direction.

im not sure about anything.