night lol

well this was fun, ahah we fucked around for a while and went to new world then sat at a bus stop claiming mines, then we waited a bit for river then we decided to go home and river was there, and we went and drunk in a park, the sun was fucking amazing, went back after a while and gluttoned on fish and chips, sat around a while more then got dropped off home where we listened to music and sat outside smoking, brittany came home and we talked a while more, went inside and whored on the internet while listening to music, just went down to the park for like half an hour and played on the swings, flying fox, i curled up in the tunnel then lex and river came and we lay down a while just laying there not really saying anything which was a nice moment hahah. went back and are now whoring on the internet. im sure there was a lot more to tonight and possibly will be than im writing right now but im really happy and i hope everyone else is.

i hope brittany will be okay after the doctors tomorrow. i hope that guy will get more fucked up with everything that we plan for him, i hope everyone wont be sad anymore and sort out their problems because everyone being sad makes me sad as well and i know a lot of people are pretty fucked up right now and it never used to be like this. we used to be all young and innocent but everyones growing up, and all my friends that are younger than me are growing up waaaaay faster than i ever did, just different generations, but everyone has so many problems and all i want to do is fix them and make everyone happy again because i hate i hate i hate everyone being so sad, but then again noone is ever really okay. and is this what were meant to be like? is anyone out there actually really honestly truly happy? i doubt it. that sounds so pessimistic. but im just asking because i really doubt it.
people are so complicated, it all begins with attachment, attachment to other people, and other people arent in tune with us and everyone is so completely different even though we might like to believe a person weve met is our soulmate or whatever, but i just really doubt it. this reminds me of what my best high school friend hayley said the other day, ive posted it in a blog but i want to repeat it now because its so amazingly true..

because we fuck it up, noones tuned in with anyone else anough to make something work. we all going in completely different directions, and sometimes we cross eachothers paths and it seems like wow this might be it, but then we realise we were never on the same track at all, and then we get all upset.

there you go. thats it. thats just it. ily.