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what the fuck fuck you, the first thing i think waking up is shit, i dont want to be here, have to go back to sleep and spend all day dreaming. why? cuz its so much better than being alive. i hate everything. why would you not want to spend every moment in your dreams.
i told you i dont want to do anything, i dont want to get out of bed, i would rather just sleep and escape to my dreams all day.
what did you say?
you need to get a job.
thanks for that, you dont seem to care, when obviously somethings not right. i been crying all fucking morning for fucks sake.

and dear someone else, why the fuck dont you seem to care, i try really hard to talk to you and everyone tells me communication etc and i say everything but you it falls upon deaf ears, you could at least have the decency to say something at least. i dont even know. i dont mean to get angry and mad but its just retaliation for all of this going around inside my head too much and if you say you love me then you shouldnt fucking be like this so go fuck yourself.

i wish i knew courtney love i wish i was as fucking lucky as frances to have her as a mother but she doesnt even want to talk to her. courtneys a fucking amazing person whos been through so much and seems like shed know what to do with every situation instead of being a bitch nag like my mum who i feel isnt even fucking there for me when i need help. cuz i dont know what to do anymore. with anything. i honestly feel like something just needs to hurry up and kill me so i dont have to deal with fucking anything anymore its horrible!
fuck everything